The Dynamics of a Dynamic Relationship

For just a moment, just one fleeting second, let me imagine myself as one of those God-forsaken incapacitateds who are inflicted by this very fatal and unrelenting disease, rather a mental disorder to be more precise, called as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) by the wise and as love by the otherwise. While I consider who among the wise and the otherwise are wise and who otherwise I realize that I have in fact managed to put on the garb of OCD, oops, love. Before this "˜prized feeling" chooses to forsake me let me get on with this write-up. If it doesn't, God help me and for the better Samaritans among you, you will find the Hospitals-and-Nursing Homes-Directory in the second-from-bottom drawer of my old, dilapidated, broken study table. ( Feel free to use-and-help.)

 

 

Now, since I am in love and I am straight as well (Thank You all Ye Americans who gape and marvel at the simultaneous occurrence of these two conditions. It does happen in India. And will continue this way for some more time to come for sure. Thank You.) , I have this arm candy on, oops, with, me all waking hours (don't worry about the sleeping hours. That's a tad bit too personal to be discussed here, especially for free. ), she who chooses to accompany me to all accompany-iable places like restaurants and well....... some more restaurants. There are other places as well she wants to accompany me to, I will be fair to her, but those are places where "Darling! It won't look prim if I would be with you here. You surely don't mind being away from me for sometime Honey, do you?" Looks like a question. And is so. Rider: It's rhetoric. Tch tch tch.........

 

Lest you fall into the unbelievably misleading, unfair-on-her, misconceived, and deceptive belief that there are no places (other than restaurants) that she accompanies me to, I will clarify that You, Young gentleman, are already as mistaken as you ever can hope to be wittingly or unwittingly in the course of this infinitely ignorant lifetime of yours. There are other places too you can see her with me. Discotheques. Period.

 

 

Fast-Forward: By The number of Years you have harboured and cherished the grievously inane aspiration of falling.........and what makes it more ignominious still, in Love!!

 

 

Bob Dylan crooned "Times-They are a-changin". The pertinence and relevance of it to current-day scenario is intelligibly demonstrated and lucidly exhibited by the perfectly-executed-yet-serendipitous accident that We (Yeah, you are woefully right. I am still suffering from OCD!) are into live-in. For the more spiritually inclined among you, it directly means that we live together and indirectly means that we share the same apartment from the 4^th of a month to the 2^nd of the next. 3^rd is the day when the landlord knocks. That one day I own the apartment exclusively. Cough-Cough!! Excuse me please.

 

My arm-candy, by now, my ominously-prospective-spouse, often quotes her distant maternal aunt's divorced husband's daughter-in-law's favorite one-liner "Share a life, Share a wallet." Since we plan to live ONE life, we should share ONE wallet. And, the one that belongs to me. (She is not stone-hearted enough to say this though. After all, she loves me.)

 

Very often, I go to pick her up from her office in the evening, unfailingly fortified with a fresh red artificially-scented and spray-watered rose with a long green stalk (Stop it you curious cat. Can we discuss the price later?). Almost as unfailingly she expresses her immeasurable gaiety by hugging me tight-enough-to-induce innumerable creases on the anti-wrinkle shirt of mine that I had planned to deo my way to office tomorrow as well. Poor thing. But she is happy. And so am I ( Was it Shiv Khera or Kahil Gibran or none of the two who warranted "Be Happy when She is"? Smart observation, I must say. But for this rule the gentleman would hardly be happy ever! ) On our way home, she sometimes falls for that Louis-Vuitton handbag or that Calvin Klein 3.4 oz Eau de Perfume for Women. Also, sometimes she forgets her plastic money in her office-locker. Sometimes, the previous two '˜sometimes's coincide. Rest is history.... Whats worse... They were right, History in fact repeats itself.

 

She sounds very convincing when she says she loves me. I am marrying her this summer. You are invited to the wedding. We don't expect gifts but don't want to risk losing the so-thoughtfully thought-of physical manifestations of your best wishes either. So.....