Secrets to Happiness

 

Out of the innumerable ways to keep yourself happy and happening, jocund and jocular, merry and mirthful, I have tried to explore a few and enlist a few more! Not to hurt the reader's self-respect and pride, I promise that even the most discerning of you would smoothly fail to locate and/or dislocate which of the enlisted ones are the unexplored ones. Here follows the succinct compendium:

• Stay away! Keep off from all articles/books beginning with a "Secrets to.."for the simple reason (you will almost feel like a fool after reading this but I assure you very dignifiedly this was not the attempted end!) that secrets being secrets are afterall what their name suggests: secrets. Thay hence cannot be unraveled and dictated simultaneously keeping them secrets. Food for thought, huh?
• This is for all those people who have been foolhardy (that is a word that has been invented with the SOLE purpose of letting fools feel less miserable of themselves by calling them Foolhardy and not just what they are: fools) enough to still continue into the article despite the warning above. You are not foolhardy, you are a fool: complete and pure, unadulterated and unexpurgated, unabridged and uncut. Thank You.
• If you are not getting the clue already, here it is plain and terse, crisp and in-your-face. I am not a man who keeps his promises too often. You atleast know from the way this is turning out to be succinct? Don't you? And if you don't, you are hereby banished to the above bullet for all times to come. That suits you better.
• Merriam-Webster risks sounding un-enough and takes a shot at defining happiness:obsolete:good fortune:prosperity (http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/happiness).I really am not sure whats it about the " obsolete " stuff, but, hey, is happiness obsolete already? That's a rather disarming idea, wee bit uncomfortable too!
• Since we have already successfully demonstrated that happiness is obsolete, we hereby solemnly declare ourselves smart enough not to dissipate our precious time, energy and resources in its pursuit. Make way Will Smith, you are obsolete too!
• You are smart enough to notice that this is the last bullet and smart enough as well to notice that I have not introduced you to even one secret to happiness, right? (You are surprising yourself by being so smart, right again?)Take heart in the fact (apropos. First bullet) that I have atleast not cheated you the other way, by revealing secrets and not letting them be!